It's like he's trying to speak to me, I know it.

I’m staring at her, and it’s like that scene in Finding Nemo- “Look, you're really cute, but I can't understand what you're saying. Say the first thing again.” My host mother looks concerned and is TRYING to explain something to me, but I can’t make out a word of what she is saying. I had expressed to her that I was not feeling well and needed to take a day off to recuperate. Was she trying to take me to the hospital? Quarantine me? Telling me to go to bed? I finally turned to Merlyn for clarification. “She is, how to say, ah, ask if you want to go to Washington.” I turned back to mom and quickly assured her in Spanish that I did not want to go home and pointed to my sinuses. Not serious, I said. Just the weather and plants and my nose. She nodded and seemed relieved. As Katey, Marge and I have been saying- language fail.

My heads hurts at night from trying so hard to think and speak Spanish. As a veteran student of the process of second language acquisition, I know I’m technically in the ‘silent period’ when you understand a significant portion but cannot spit out the words. However, I’ve taken it upon myself to try and use the Spanish and just sound like an idiot. It’s the only way I’ll really learn the language. Of course, the fact that my family speaks virtually no English makes my Spanish usage somewhat mandatory. For example, after school today I am going to Atenas to work on my pre- and post-test data with Katey. I needed to explain to Merlyn that I would not be on the bus this afternoon, but would return later in the evening. Fortunately, most of my Spanish is centered upon the theme of home—how I survived the day, food we eat, when I am leaving home, when I will be back, where I am going, etc. The repetition of these words helps out a lot. I still don’t know what mom is saying sometimes (she speaks very quickly) but I am able to figure out from her tone that she is asking if I want more food (the answer is always yes).

I am learning, but it’s a slow process. I look forward to my run every day because it’s the only time when I can literally think to myself and listen to English music and just space out in my English bubble. Yeah, I know I teach English at school, but a lot of the day is dedicated to deciphering the word the student is looking for in Spanish or informing my students that I UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SAYING AND I KNOW THEY DO NOT WANT TO READ BUT IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. Cough eighth grade.

This may sound stupid, but I think some of my language struggle comes from the fact I look somewhat native. People assume that I know Spanish because I look generally like someone that knows Spanish. I know that sounds like blatant stereotyping, but I was out with Merlyn (she has a fairer complexion than I do) and she asked someone at a store to repeat what they had said. The salesperson sighed and turned to me to explain the second time since my silly friend apparently did not understand Spanish. I didn’t even try to nod appropriately or fake understanding. Merlyn and I just started laughing. I think the most humbling part is the fact that Katey understands and speaks way more Spanish than I do. When we were out on Saturday, I wanted to say, look. I may look like all of you, but the blonde chick is the only one that’s going to get what you’re saying so talk to her. Haha.

Well actually let’s look at Saturday. We were out in Atenas at some crazy town-wide party where people ride horses through the streets and apparently bottles of Bacardi can be bought for four dollars. A pair of running shorts is fifty dollars, alcohol four. Well THAT makes sense. Anyways, the point is the town was crazy. Horses and people everywhere, pouring rain, dancing in the streets. Typical Costa Rican scene. Katey, Marge and I joined the revelers after a late dinner. Shockingly, we were approached by some young gentlemen from San Jose. They had just graduated from university and were on their way to a party. Were we interested? Well, let’s think. Random guys, walking to a random party, we barely understand them and they barely understand us… yeah, let’s go! Well, we walked in the rain up a massive hill in the middle of nowhere, and I was starting to get concerned. Not only were we with some random guys, but my language skills were impairing my ability to find out much about where we were going. On the bright side, if we were murdered I hadn’t spent all weekend doing the pre- and post-test assignment for Katy Arnett. I hadn’t even started the paper. So I mean, at least I’d had fun prior to my demise.

So we get to the top of the hill and I’m sure all is lost. However, once we get over the hill I’m realizing that this is no random house party- a field is covered with thousands of people. There are cotton candy machines, merry-go-rounds, you name it. At eleven pm in the rain. Kids everywhere. Totally normal. Before too long, we found some of the Indiana University girls (random) and headed towards the dance party. Quite the experience.

Right, so I was talking about my language skills. Although they fail me at times (illness, navigation, etc.) if I end up at a dance party with thousands of new friends, I must be doing something right. And that’s my posting on language. The end.